Lately I feel as though I’ve been “hunting the muse.” Trying
to force inspiration into my work, grabbing it when it’s there, and making it
work as much as possible. And when it’s not going the way I want, I avoid my
writing at all costs. And, with the end of Capstone coming up, that is not
helping.
(Who knows? Maybe he's hunting a muse, too.)
It’s not an official part of my reading, but my favorite
book on writing, The Writer’s Little Helper
by James V. Smith, has some interesting thoughts about writer’s block. One
particular paragraph I’m thinking about goes something like this:
…Writing does not occur by thinking
about it. Writing only happens when you do it, so plant your butt in a chair
and get busy. Keep busy…. If you’ve worked heard at learning from your
experiences along the way, you’ll probably be a creative writer. That’s how it
all works. (225)
I’ve noticed that this is especially true for capstone. On
those rare occasions when I can make myself write without inspiration, it does
actually come out. Maybe it’s not my best writing, and maybe my work’s not at
its peak, but it is work. The revisions I make in those times are revisions,
and they do improve the work from what it had been.
I guess the philosophy that I’m coming to is that if the
muse doesn’t come, start without her. Maybe she’ll show up, maybe she won’t. So
why do I still procrastinate? Why do I still act like it’s impossible for me to
write unless I’m in the properly inspired mood? The past few weeks have been
especially bad for me. On some days, it seems I’ll do anything—spend extra time
helping friends, do more homework for other classes, go on walks when it’s
uncomfortably chilly—to avoid facing my poems.
I can definitely relate to you here! It's so easy for me to say, "I'm not going to write tonight. I'm not in the mood, so anything I write will be bad anyway." I really like your point though--if you write, then you've written. If you revise, than you've revised. And your writing will be better (or existent for that matter) because of it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what the solution is to the not-in-the-mood avoidance. I think, like you suggest, it's probably just a matter of self control. It reminds me of what they say about working out...if you really don't feel like it, just go to the gym and tell yourself you'll only go for ten minutes. Usually, when that ten minutes is up, you'll keep going after.
Good post for the winding down hours of Capstone. It's very true that the muse has no chance if you don't let anything out at all. It reminds myself of the quote "you miss 100% of the shots that you don't take." I get frustrated with myself, justifying that I'm not in the mood or haven't had good idea to finish a story yet. Yes... it also may be a wee bit of senioritis.... :)
ReplyDeleteI get myself in the chair knowing that I will be thankful for it later. Upon achievement I give myself a little reward for a job well done. Now I can't make that a treat every time because I would gain hundreds of pounds by rewarding myself! But I do set aside something that I like and only indulge myself in it when I am finished. That seems to please the muse!
This is something I've struggled with a lot over the last few years or so. We'd read in class about all these disciplined writers who had their specified daily writing routine and never missed a day--but all I could ever think about was how tedious that sounded. It turned something I loved doing into just another chore. And I can't think of any better way to kill the muse than to take all the passion out of the creative process.
ReplyDeleteI think some sort of balance is the key. If you love routine enough that the whole "two hours every day" thing works for you, then that's awesome. But for the rest of us, why not set more flexible goals? Something like "sit down and write for at least ten minutes every other day." Not too much of a time commitment, and you'll probably get past that first ten minutes and want to keep going. Or "write at least five hours this week." Is Monday really busy? Then don't try to fit writing in as well. Chances are, you'd be so burned out that not much good would come of it anyway. The trickiest part is to be honest with yourself about your self-set goals and deadlines, but if you can hold yourself accountable, then I think your writing and revisions will be stronger for it.
I definitely relate to you. It seems like a bad case of senioritis, and I've got it too... as of about 2 months ago maybe. I think this is a really great lesson for us though. We can't just write when we have inspiration. The real struggle is when you write when you don't feel like writing, love when you don't feel like loving, search for inspiration when you can't see it. The struggle is the glory. I'm really fighting to stay on top of my homework this quad, and it's slipping really fast. But tonight I've decided (don't know how resolute I will remain in my decision) to stay up LATE and make myself do homework that I REALLY don't want to do. So what if I'm tired in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI find myself in the same boat a lot of the time--I sit down to force myself to write without the muse, and I DO write--yet I go right back to being convinced that I can't possibly write until inspired. I think it might be an issue of perfection--do those "not my best writing" pieces of work make you cringe and wish they could go away or at least be made better? Do you wish everything you wrote was at least *decent* the first time around? I know I do... maybe the answer in THAT case is to keep forcing ourselves to write not just for the sake of discipline or getting stuff done, but as an intentional cure for the fear of doing bad work.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're not a perfectionist and your problem comes from somewhere else, but that is my thought.