I’m
not quite sure how it happened, but I somehow managed to make it almost to
graduation without reading Bird by Bird
by Anne Lamott. I feel somehow like that oversight in my education just had to
remedied before I could accept my diploma. (Is it just me, or does absolutely
everyone seem to have read [and loved] that book?)
Admittedly,
I am only about a third of the way through at this point, but what I’ve read so
far has been just the breath of fresh air that I needed after burying myself in
other writer’s work (which made me feel inspired at some times and flat out
defeated at others…how am I ever going to compare to these people?). It’s been
fun just to leisurely make my way through Lamott’s advice and criticisms.
Because
I was running out of creativity and energy for my final piece of Capstone
writing, I allowed myself to write a really “shitty first draft” as Lamott puts
it. She says, “What I’ve learned to do when I sit down to work on a shitty
first draft is to quiet the voices in my head.”
It
wasn’t easy. I kept getting up from my computer to pace the room, feed the cat,
put away a few dishes, because could this draft really be worth it? Really?
But
with the voices silenced I now have that first draft written. I now have something to work with, and I suppose
that’s better than nothing. Only now it’s time to turn that draft into
something I actually like and something that those voices will chatter at a
little less.
It’s
hard to find the balance of how much to let those outside voices speak in to
your project. When do you let them in? Or do you? Is it better sometimes to
pave your own trail and let them say what they will?
Nice thoughts here, Heidi! I haven't read Bird by Bird, though I'll agree it seems like everyone else has, and I think I might want to take a look at it after I graduate. But I certainly agree on what a challenge it is to let yourself write terribly! I always want good quality on my writing, even for the rough draft, as I hope it will mean less work later on. But the truth is, that early in the writing process there's no way you can know what will stay and what will be cut. So it's much better to have a truly rough first draft than to sit and think about keeping your writing perfect.
ReplyDeleteOver all, I think it is a good thing to write better instead of worse in a draft, but if trying to write well is keeping you from writing at all, then just let it go!
First of all I was thrilled at the length of this post. I automatically judge a blog post by its longevity or its conciseness and I appreciate this because your message is nicely put. But going on!
ReplyDeleteYes I remember Bird by Bird. It's been awhile since we read it for class but it was a fresh and invigorating read (insert a clean & clear face wash add). A few days ago I wrote the worst first draft known to man kind. It had no point and the theme was vague but the story was birthed and there it was. I don't regret it, but it's flawed to me. I think it's good for your story to say what it will as long as there is a point. If you as an author can't even distinguish the point then clearly work must be done. Take out the good chunks left out from the flames of an awful draft and plunk it into your new piece. It's usually fairly fair sailing from there!
It's been a few years since reading Bird by Bird, and, while I admit it was good, I don't remember being quite as blown away by it as everyone else was. Sure, it was helpful, but not life changing. I think that's partially because I already write crappy first drafts. I can't help it. No matter how well I think things turned out, I'll re-read it the next day and find it horrific. And I don't think that's something that necessarily has to do with quality of writing; for me, it's all about characterization, setting, pacing, flow, and getting at the truth of the story. To me, these are all things that can only come with either several revisions or major planning beforehand (and let's face it, what college student has time to painstakingly plan out every scene detail before they even start writing at midnight the day before the draft is due?). Anne Lamott simply voiced a truth that many writers didn't realize, and it helped them let go and write free of worry.
ReplyDeleteAs for voices, I think a distinction must be made here. There are the editorial voices (which must me tied up in a closet during first drafts), and there are your characters' voices, which must be allowed to say what they want, the interrupt you, to yell at you when you're going astray, and to sit stubbornly and refuse to speak or move until you write them as they need to be written. Those latter voices are sometimes hard to tune into, but they must be allowed to say what they want, no matter how crappy of a first draft they lead you to.
I totally agree! I should have made that distinction more clear about WHOSE voices we're blocking out and whose we're listening to. The voices I was writing about were those critics who climb inside your head and tell you what you're writing isn't worth the time and that everything you'll ever write will be awful. CHARACTER'S voices, on the other hand, are a totally different ball game! Good distinction!
DeleteDid you enjoy the rest of the book? I made it until this year without reading it either, so don't feel too bad. There were a few really good parts in it.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar struggle with writing bad drafts. My voices very, very strongly tell me to get it right the first time, saving myself revision later. The problem is, writing is all about revision, so learning to do bad drafts was necessary for me to feel free to make them better.
It was definitely hard to do, and with capstone, writing bad drafts has turned out some pretty horrible stuff, but like you said, it gives me something to work with, and even better, it gives me the excuse to practice revision.
I don't turn the editor on until later drafts; even my second drafts wind up being a full rewrite of my stories sometimes, so perfect editing can come later. Of course, I say "turn on," but the struggle is keeping it off!
I agree with Ashley--let the crazy character voices IN where the editor voice is silent--if you've gotten to the broccoli chapter in Bird by Bird, you'll understand how it's useful.
I loved that book! That chapter on first drafts was really helpful for me, especially when it comes to turning off the inner critic. There's a really fine line between when to turn off the critics enough to write a draft and when to turn it on to begin critiquing that work to make it better. Sometimes my critics start talking too soon, before the draft is over.
ReplyDeleteWhat's really frustrating about bad first drafts is that out of the multiple pages that you might write, only a little bit of it might be usable. The critics sometimes do more hard than good in that area too, unfortunately. If you're writing fiction, though, I've heard it's more productive to let the character talk and make room for him instead. That can be... interesting.
I really liked what you said about writing a really bad first draft! Sometimes that is just what we need to keep writing. Jeff Olson, author of The Slight Edge, talks about how you need to work consistently towards a goal. He gives the example of amassing wealth by starting with a penny. Someone might ask, "Wow! You created all that wealth out of nothing." And he says, "No, a penny." They respond, "Well basically nothing" to which he insists, "No, you have to start with something. You have to start with a penny." I feel like the "shitty first draft" is that penny. It's what at least gets the ideas flowing. And even though it isn't much to look at at first, it will get the ball rolling.
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