Recently, Ms. Hougen asked me how Capstone was going. "It's pretty good," I said, nodding as if to assure myself of that fact. "It took a while to get into it, but I feel like I'm finally finding my...sea feet." She looked at me dubiously. "Do you mean sea legs?" I hung my head in shame.
I think that's a pretty good illustration of my Capstone experience so far. I'm starting to get used to the process, and I'm slowly figuring out what I want to say in my pieces. But I'm still struggling to put it all into words. Sitting in a coffee shop in South Dakota with all my tests and papers behind me, I am so grateful for this break. I'm hoping it will recharge me, give me the energy and inspiration to really dive into my Capstone projects. I hate that I haven't been able to completely immerse myself in them just yet.
I'm also looking forward to doing some more reading. I've still been going through Patricia Hampl's I Could Tell You Stories, but I've been feeling as though I want to diversify my reading material a little, so I've also dipped into Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem and Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. Both are really, really good (at least, the small bits I've read so far) - but they're also pretty different from my own style and subject matter. (Didion's is rather journalistic, while Dillard's reads somewhat like a nature diary.)
Part of me really likes that disparity - I think it's good to take in different perspectives so your own writing can reflect some of that well-roundedness. But I wonder if it can also be a little destructive to your own work. (What if my writing comes out sounding nothing like me, or if I start including really unrelated topics, just because I'm subconsciously emulating others' work?)
This sort of goes along with Julie's struggle to reconcile contemporary poetry with her preferred style of more old-fashioned poetry - except I'm wondering about the significance of different styles within the same genre and time period (namely, contemporary personal essay). Do you guys think it's helpful or detrimental to read drastically different styles and subject matters from your own? If you're doing personal essay for Capstone (which I think we all are), what are you reading for inspiration, and why?
Oh, Sarah, I can relate. I understand your dilemma at not having been able to immerse yourself in Capstone so far! I've felt the same way, and now that midterms week is over I hope to also begin again more vigorously. I hope your break is restful and productive (:
ReplyDeleteI think it's probably very helpful to read different styles and subjects from my own. For me, at least, it reminds me that there's more out there - that my little bubble of thought existence is not the only thing there is. Right now, I'm reading a Best American Travel Stories and discovering new worlds within the pieces. I've been inspired by the detail and the way the various authors incorporate dialogue and images to show emotion. I'm still working my way through Teaching a Stone to Talk as well(I hope to pick that up again now that break's begun).
It's hard for me to answer this because I don't really even know if I have a style yet. Since I went so long without writing, I think I'm still developing it, again. And that's okay. I'm learning from Capstone, and reading helps with that journey as well. Someday I hope to pick up what all of you are reading, too.
I agree with both of you. It can be hard to read things that are outside your style, especially when you're not sure what your style is. I haven't written enough personal essays to know what my style is for those—or for poems either, come to think of it. The diversity in perspective is helpful, but in the anthologies I've been reading, I've noticed several essays with the same theme, if not the exact same sequence of events. For example, there were multiple stories of people who grew up in the church, realized how “foolish” it was, and dismissed the idea of a white-haired, demanding God, perhaps with occasional nostalgia for the comfortable belief in heaven. It actually excites me—most of the essays in anthologies are entirely outside my experience. While I may be dismissed as politically incorrect or naive, at least no one will accuse me of following trends or being receptive.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you! Especially joining Creative Capstone partway through the quad, it was really difficult for me to fully immerse myself. I feel like I'm just barely starting to find my "sea legs" too.
ReplyDeleteI can really empathize with your questions about reading personal essays of different styles. I appreciate reading a variety of personal essays and see value exposing myself to styles different than my own (especially as I'm still developing my own style), but I have noticed it sometimes color my own writing in a way that seems to usurp my own style. One thing I've done to counteract this is to leave some time between reading an essay of a different style and beginning a personal essay of my own. That way, I'm still learning from different styles, but it's not so immediately influencing my writing.
Lately I've been going back and re-reading some of the personal essays from Christianity and Writing that were especially compelling to me. A favorite was Crittendon's The Water Will Hold You: A Daughter at Prayer.